veryroundbirdfics | Arknights | Hand in Unlovable Hand, Chapter 5

Rating: Spicy
Chapter: 5/28
Characters: Doctor (F), Kal'tsit, Amiya, various others
Relationships: Doctor/Kal'tsit, Kal'tsit/Theresa, Theresa/Doctor
Summary: Dr. Lau returns to Rhodes Island a stranger in a strange land, in a labyrinth of things that feel like they should be familiar but aren't—and at the center is Dr. Kal'tsit and all the things she's not saying. Even if amnesia's changed her, though, the Doctor wouldn't be the Doctor if she didn't have an impulse to solve for the missing variable.
Notes: while this fic is marked as "spicy" the only actual sexual content is in chapters 8, 9, 17, 23 and 27, and there's cliff notes for the scenes at the bottom of the chapter. sexual content is noted in the start of chapters where it appears.

The things that are going well so far today: no one has shot at you directly, nothing is currently on fire, your squad has found the individual you were looking for, and no one is dead.¹

Things that are not going well: everything else.²

After you fended off some others looking for her, the girl—Misha, the little ursine with the white hair who can't be far into her teens if that³—reluctantly agreed to go with the lot of you, and reluctantly continues to stay, despite her misgivings about the fact that you'll be remanding her to L.G.D. protection.⁴

She hangs with you at the back of the group, the non-combatants—and she looks up at you, brow furrowed. She's taller than Amiya, but still a slip of a girl. "What are you doing with them?"⁵

You pinch the bridge of your nose. "Do I look that out of place?"

"Well—you seem pretty ordinary, apart from the fact that they listen to you..."⁶

"Is that so..." You hum lightly under your breath, and shove a few loose locks of hair back into your bun. "Well, that might be true. I'm... a specialist doctor with Rhodes Island, though."⁷

Amiya ahead of you, conferences with Exusiai, who's dropped in to help navigate you; Exusiai throws a wild salute and dashes off,⁸ swinging herself up on a rickety fire escape toward spotting height, and vanishes up between lines of slightly-stained laundry and questionably-legal electrical cables.

"I guess it makes sense that the Infected⁹ would need a doctor," Misha murmurs.

"Hm—" You tilt your head slightly. "You recently contracted Oripathy, then."¹⁰

"Or, well—after I left Chernobog,¹¹ at least, I noticed, on my leg..."

Amiya's signalling the group to move, though, and you straighten from doubled-over. "Once we get to a safe place, we should probably take a look at that, though, if you haven't been treated. But—"

You shake your head, gently. "Amiya showed you her hands earlier, didn't she?"¹² Pulling your jacket zipper down a little bit, you tug down on the collar of your shirt, revealing the thin, jagged vertical lines of black across your skin, and she frowns.¹³

"Everyone at Rhodes Island has some kind of stake in this. I don't know if I completely trust the L.G.D. either, but—" You smile, thinly. "I trust that if they harm a hair on your head, Amiya will move heaven and earth to make them regret it.¹⁴ I'd say I would too, but I have far fewer ways to do so, and I... I don't want to make promises I can't keep."¹⁵

She goes quiet, considering this, and you gesture for her to follow as the group heads for the rendezvous point with the other half of Penguin Logistics' team.

It's as you're all herding into the upper floors of the dingy, largely-abandoned building that you realize you've still got a tail on you—all of you startle at once as the voice rings out from the stairwell on the opposite side of the floor behind you.

"Finally... I've finally... found you..."

Both you and Misha freeze, looking back at the hooded figure.¹⁶ Her mouth works soundlessly, trying to come up with something to say.

"Who..." She frowns, deeper. "Who are you—"

"No time for that!" yells Liskarm, shield raised, and putting an arm around Misha to steer her away. "Doctor, orders!"

And with that, you don't have any more time to try and put a finger on what about that voice sounds familiar. "Go!" you call back.¹⁷ "No fights we don't need! We're getting the hell out of here!"

[1] Start every day with low expectations and you will always be pleasantly surprised.
Probably.

[2] You've been beset by suspicious groups of thugs, actual Reunion infiltrators, angry locals who think you're robbers, gangs whose territory you trespassed on—

[3] When you found her, she tried to brandish her claws at all of you, which would have been cute coupled with her size and the handmade doll sticking out of her pocket if the circumstances for all of this weren't so serious.

[4] "Have you seen how Lungmen treats the Infected?" she asked, and, well. Yeah, you can't really argue with that.

[5] Asking the questions we all want to know!

[6] Well. Mostly. Whether Franka listens to you is questionable, and most of your use so far has been as an extra spotter.

[7] Ehhh that's close enough.

[8] No one else seems to bat an eye at her (apart from Liskarm, who seems to view her as a bit of an affront), but—surely someone else thinks she's a bit odd?

[9] The phrasing sticks out to you—she's someone who's still used to thinking of "The Infected" as the other, a class of people she's not, as much as she has sympathy.

[10] The obvious conclusion, after all.

[11] You mostly keep yourself from wincing.

[12] You yourself hadn't gotten a good look at the visual evidence of Amiya's Oripathy before—the uneven wide cracks of black lesions over her wrists across the backs of her hands, extending up beneath her jacket sleeves.

[13] It's not disapproval or fear, just the thoughtful frowm of someone reconsidering events so far through the lens of new information.
...a scientist's eye, maybe. You wonder if one of her parents might have been one.

[14] You saw the way she scared off some of the roughs and toughs you've run into, for one thing—the way she shrugged off getting called a monster in return, for the sake of the kids they were pushing around. You haven't known her long, but you're more than sure of her character.

[15] At the very least—you know, at this point, that if you said that you'd save someone for sure, it would likely be promising far, far too much.

[16] Well, the other hooded figure, anyway.

[17] Maybe you're a coward. But the way Amiya frowns whenever you have to get into fights with other Infected, the way Misha's lower lip trembles at the idea of the Infected fighting each other—no, you're sure this is the right choice.

Before you shipped out for the day, Amiya was quick to offer you reassurances.

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Doctor—I've been relying on you so far already, and you haven't disappointed me once."¹⁸ She took your hand, closing her small palm over your larger one. "It's all right if you don't want to take the lead,¹⁹ but I'll be glad to have your perspective."

You gave her a half-smile. "I think your perspective is already more than good enough, Amiya."²⁰

"Fresh eyes are useful!" She nodded vigorously. "And, besides, Kal'tsit said you'd been really helpful with operator onboarding,²¹ so—"

"Ah, Amiya," Dr. Kal'tsit spoke up from the doorway.²² "We've received word from Penguin Logistics. They have a lead, but it's urgent."²³

"Oh! In that case we'll be ready to go straightaway—if you can page Miss Franka and Miss Liskarm to meet us..."²⁴ She patted you on the arm. "We're together. And Doctor, don't worry. I'll always protect you."²⁵

Kal'tsit caught you as you followed Amiya through the doors. "Dr. Lau, a moment of your time."²⁶

You waved weakly at Amiya. "I'll catch up."

She patted you on the arm, and dashed off; Kal'tsit waited until she was gone to speak.

"She takes on a lot of responsibility," Kal'tsit said, looking off in the direction Amiya had gone. "Don't let her take on too much pressure in your hesitation. Even before, you..."²⁷

Kal'tsit stopped herself, and shook her head. "Keep her out of intense battles, if you can. Eventually the strain will catch up with her. Make sure to check her rings for damage afterward,²⁸ if it happens, though."

"Ah—all right, I mean—I'll do the best I can."

A raise of her eyebrow: "Things will rarely go according to plan, so prepare yourself. I've set my expectations properly,²⁹ but there are many people looking to you for what you alone can do."

"I wish I knew what that was," you said, then—

—and now you're here. In Chernobog, watching the flow of the crowds around you, assailants running toward you—you realized you had a clear sense for where they'd go, what they'd do, reading the language of movement and expression.³⁰ When you open your mouth the first time, your voice cracks; remembering what Kal'tsit said, you try again. Louder. You have to do this.

Here, even though your chest is tight and you're winded, you have your feet under you a little better, perhaps, and it's like listening to a familiar old song that you could conduct without practice. Keep Misha behind a defender, point Exusiai there, call Texas to support.³¹ You know before the enemy leader does that he's going to retreat, because—

...why do you know that? It's because...

...it's because for whatever reason, he doesn't want to hurt Misha.³² No. Because he loves her, doesn't he?

But there's no time to think about exactly what that means, as you push through the fatigue to keep up with the group, lungs burning.

[18] You find that hard to believe, because Amiya seems like quite the opposite, as far as expectations—the kind of person who believes that without aspirations one will never succeed.

[19] ...is it that obvious? Yeah, it's probably that obvious.

[20] You feel... a little strange saying that to someone so young, who by all rights probably should have had a few more years at minimum before leadership was thrust upon her. You wish you could promise to take some of that burden and mean it.

[21] She what?

[22] Speak the woman's name and she appears.

[23] You're sure there's real intel to be had, but somehow it seems oddly convenient that she should appear with it when Amiya's about to tell you that she said anything nice about you whatsoever?

[24] You can see her mentally going down her checklist, routine as you please, just another day.

[25] That would worry you less if you couldn't also feel Dr. Kal'tsit's eyes on you, a gaze so heavy it feels like she's boring holes into you.

[26] Oh you're going to get chewed out. You have no idea what you did but you're sure of it.

[27] Even before you what, Kal'tsit???

[28] It's not something that you're going to question right now, but you're pretty sure you have several questions.

[29] Always with the negging.

[30] It's not just in battle—honestly, it's distracting and stressful most of the time.

[31] In some ways, the fact that it comes back so easily is a little distressing.

[32] No, there's genuine care in his voice. Fondness. Nostalgia, even through that gas mask.

It's a harrowing escape across the rooftops of the slums of Lungmen, but—you make it to the meetup point with Superintendent Ch'en and her squad at last.³³ Misha, despite her misgivings, lets go of Liskarm's arm when prompted,³⁴ and follows the Superintendent.³⁵

You wipe your brow of the sweat that has your hair and half your crest feathers sticking obnoxiously to your face, and think to yourself: Ah, well, at least we can breathe a sigh of relief now.

Then you think to yourself: Wait, no we can't.

Then you yell: "Everyone, get down!"

And a second later, an explosion rocks the street.

[33] You are, by this point, entirely out of breath, all your limbs are burning, and you feel like you are going to die. Unfortunately you do not just expire on the spot.

[34] It still doesn't entirely sit right with you, just handing her over, even though Amiya gets Ch'en to agree to at least try to get Misha moved to Rhodes Island for treatment afterward.

[35] Though, at least—you watch Misha and the Superintendent talking as they leave; you can see Ch'ens face soften slightly. A nod. You wonder how much kindness she's had to keep tucked away to live in this world.

You have an absolutely splitting headache, and your ears are ringing like you're inside an enormous bell that was just struck, and when you can focus properly, that's—

—that's Amiya, standing in front of you, hand raised, lines of jagged black cracking through the world behind her as she channels her arts.³⁶

Both she and the Reunion leader with his rocket launcher stand, still—each breathing heavily, the enemy captain supporting himself on his rocket launcher.

Dimly, you hear a muffled voice across the street: "Skullshatterer, are you okay?"

The Reunion captain waves it off, with his other hand. "Troublesome. Did you hear..."

"Amiya," you say. "Amiya?"

"Doctor—you're all right?" she says, without turning around. "It's going to be—I promise.³⁷ It's going to be all right. Even if—"

"—just said that she's all finished on her end! She's successfully retrieved..." It's hard to hear. Oh, but—they're going to withdraw again. Even in this position? No, but...

"Amiya," you say. "They're standing down, but..."

One of the Reunion soldiers fires a flare gun, and puts an arm under Skullshatterer's, helping him to stand and hobble off, but—it's so hard to think. No, no, your radio's going off? The static isn't in your head.³⁸

"—units. All units, this is Superintendent Ch'en of the L.G.D. Special Operations Division, report in immediately. Repeat, additional Reunion forces have been encountered in the city. Reports of a single enemy—"

You lick your lips, your mouth suddenly feeling very dry. "Amiya," you say. "Amiya, we were never the objective in the first place. They have her."

[36] It hurts to look at, in a way—it gives you a headache, like you're not sure what you're actually seeing.

[37] Still. Still, she shouldn't be the one promising you that, you promised Kal'tsit—

[38] Mostly.