veryroundbirdfics | Arknights | Hand in Unlovable Hand, Chapter 16

Rating: Spicy
Chapter: 16/28
Characters: Doctor (F), Kal'tsit, Amiya, various others
Relationships: Doctor/Kal'tsit, Kal'tsit/Theresa, Theresa/Doctor
Summary: Dr. Lau returns to Rhodes Island a stranger in a strange land, in a labyrinth of things that feel like they should be familiar but aren't—and at the center is Dr. Kal'tsit and all the things she's not saying. Even if amnesia's changed her, though, the Doctor wouldn't be the Doctor if she didn't have an impulse to solve for the missing variable.
Notes: while this fic is marked as "spicy" the only actual sexual content is in chapters 8, 9, 17, 23 and 27, and there's cliff notes for the scenes at the bottom of the chapter. sexual content is noted in the start of chapters where it appears.

Elsewhere: in the overcity, on her way back to Lungmen's government center, Kal'tsit remembers. Back then—

You don't like Dr. Lau, you don't trust Dr. Lau, and you're strangely jealous of Dr. Lau in spite of the fact that of course it's not like Theresa cares about you any less for her presence. Lau barely says a word outside combat operations and planning meetings, and whenever you run into her, she avoids eye contact or goes evasive.

You pride yourself on your self-control, but even you have things that make you lose your temper, and your fuse has been getting shorter and shorter every day you're in proximity.

What makes it come to a head is this: a hard-won victory, a dark atmosphere in the debriefing, and Dr. Lau emotionlessly scrolling through her reports and declaring it within acceptable parameters. You follow her on the way out, unable to keep this one under your hat; Theresa had been distraught.

"What is wrong with you?" you hiss, planting a hand against the bulkhead next to Dr. Lau's head. Dr. Lau looks—down, then to the side, mouth bowed in a gentle concerned nothing of an expression. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

You grab Lau's face, and for the first time that stony expression breaks open—and you're is taken aback that Lau looks afraid. You didn't know she did that. "I—" Lau mumbles, quietly. "I don't—um—I thought—"

It isn't the collected response you expected. You let Lau go, take a step back—"Never mind. You don't have to make eye contact."

There's palpable relief in Lau's posture. "Sorry," she says, quietly. "I find it uncomfortable."

"Theresa's upset."

"I know. But she needs me to win. So—" She gives a weak, sad little smile, the first one you've ever seen from her. "What else can I do?"

You start looking a little more closely at her. She doesn't emote that much, naturally, but there's little tells. She slips into professionalism and detachment when she's uncomfortable or unhappy, which—is alarmingly relatable, honestly.

Here and there she'll say something to you that isn't something strictly necessary—you're startled once, when she comments on how nice the breeze is on the deck, and even more startled to realize it feels like you've been gifted something. And she has a certain kind of ease with Amiya that's... charming.

Theresa always says that Dr. Lau's story is one for her to tell herself, but she does tell you this, when you mention idly, curled up with her, soft skin against soft skin, that you're worried about Lau's health: "She's looking for something to stand for, in her life, Kal'tsit. It's her own decisions that keep her here, like yours do you—but if you watch over her, too, I'm sure she'll be able to find what she's looking for."

So. What else can you do now but do what you've always done, ever since Theresa came into your life, and especially ever since she left it?

What else can you do but keep the faith. But truly: she thought too much of both of you.